Ok, I’m sitting at work primarily useless so lets talk about 2017: Justin’s year of dating.
This will not be interesting but I’m bored so skip this one if you want.
Ok, so I broke up with my girlfriend in March for reasons. If you want to find out those reasons, get me drunk or idk hit her up. After that breakup I went on a hardcore campaign to be the man whore I felt I always needed/wanted to be. Years of observing social interactions and the general maturing of taste had prepared me for anything. First step, download all the apps: Tinder, Coffee Meets Bagel, Bumble and OK Cupid. Fill in the stuff, start swiping….keep swiping. “Wow, this sucks.” Then the levee, not so much breaks but lets in a little bit of water. I’m not gonna breakdown each girl that I saw this year because that’s ridiculous but I’ll sum up my experience briefly. Dating is so weird. You have to adapt to each woman you talk to while sticking to really the only rule that matters: Don’t. Be. Fucking. Weird. I’m serious. That’s it. Did you talk about your job for 15 minutes straight without her getting a word in? Weird. Did you text her at the crack of dawn after your first date telling her felt something special? Weird. Did you talk about how problematic black women are? Weird and wrong. I’ve had experiences that ranged from downright boring to absolutely great but nothing that was dreadful (KNOCK ON WOOD).
So I’m dating, do not have a girlfriend and a majority of the summer/fall I was not in the market for one. This means at any given point I could have been talking to a number of women and this didn’t always feel right. I think they were all mature enough to know this and it would have been naive to believe that I was the only guy they were seeing. Still though, it felt weird. Carefully constructing schedules, rereading texts to make sure you had certain details right, never repeating restaurants for first dates. Unnecessary work for something that may last anywhere from one date to several months. I quickly grew tired of this but I’m a weak man and I think I became addicted to the game. How do you approach this conversation? How will she react to this sex joke? Oh she uses a great deal of emojis, follow suit. I think I discovered that I just like chatting with strangers. Wait, that seems lonely. Uh. A conversation is a puzzle and I like figuring them out. Add a level of trying to figure out multiple puzzles at once and you can get a little high from it.
Oh shit. I’m a bad person. It sounds impersonal and a total disregard for the other person’s feelings and intentions.
I’ve tried to remain honest with my intentions throughout the entire year and it has worked out even if it spelled the end of a situation. There’s only been a couple points of drama that I’ve dealt with that caused me any stress but I stand by my honesty. Lately my mindset has changed and I’ve been open to finding things that are more meaningful. There’s a person of interest and I’m interested in seeing where it goes. Even if nothing happens, it shows that I’m actively trying to let go of the past and willing to open up to someone else. We’ll see, it’s still early.
Eh, I don’t feel like editing this, screw it.