Sweater Struggle

5:57 A.M.

My eyes open to the dark room with a sliver of light cutting through the opening of the blackout curtains.  I don’t even look at my phone knowing that at any moment my first alarm will go off. An odd metered chime erupts from my phone and I roll my eyes as I swipe away the noise. Well, thank God I live to see another day but curses that I once again woke up before my alarm. Systems check. All my limbs work. I did charge my phone. I don’t have to pee. My naked body is warm under the covers but I can sense the chill morning air my less-than-stellarly insulated studio.  My arms are sore from yesterdays work out and I smile to myself in vanity. I have a strange premonition as I quickly think about what I’m going to wear to work before catching another quick 55 minutes of sleep.

6:53 A.M.

“Motherfucker,” I whisper to myself. I roll over to finish off these last seven minutes and hopefully pop back into that dream. I let the darkness come for me in that warm, hug-like nook. A softer, yet more piercing alarm rudely interrupts my chances at chasing a few more snores. I get out of bed unphased by the smell of the man that I am. Lights, teeth, deodorant, hair (lol), and clothes. I desperately need to do laundry. Haven’t worn this sweater in awhile. Where is my other shoe? Where did the time go? Outside, I see the bus rumble by blissfully unaware that it was supposed to wait for me. Whatever. I finally check the temperature. Yup, I wore the wrong shoes and choosing these pants with a hole in them was a choice I made. I readjust my sweater and the annoyance of the day slowly forms at this street corner.

8:00 A.M.

My fucking sweater is too small. I realize today will be one of constant adjustment. Have to make sure my crack isn’t out in the streets like the war on drugs. Doesn’t help I’m wearing the ugliest brown beater known to man…which is also too small. It would be fine if this sweater was only tight but the sleeves are too short and it is just not long enough. Obviously it’s freezing in the office and I’m pretty much wearing a skin suit. Ugh. That’s what that premonition was earlier in bed. Clothes will piss you off today. Should have looked at the weather and pivoted. Black Vans, “Black” pants with crotch hole, TIGHT black sweater. Looking like a out of shape thief. Looking like I’m going to a hipster funeral.

11:25 A.M.

Write all this out on WordPress to rave reviews and tons of fanfare. Thank the fans, God, and my parents. Bow gracefully and wave as applause pours in.

 

Listen to this song because it is what I immediately think of when I hear the word “premonition.” Stevie Wonder is brilliant.

 

 

 

via Daily Prompt: Premonition

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Thoughts on Black Panther

Just hopping right in.


So on the surface level, I enjoyed the movie fine. I’m glad that the film was made and excited it’s breaking all sorts of records. It’s good that a new generation is getting to see a black superhero be great. People dressing up for the premier, seeing it multiple times, and writing pieces about it are all awesome. Even myself after viewing the movie had an emotional response:

When this movie was announced, my initial worry was that there would be all this hype (there was) but then the movie would be not so good. The director, cast, and initial reactions somewhat quelled my fear but I still felt as though emotion would cloud technical judgement. People were just excited that this movie existed. Complaints I’ve seen from a few blogs and reviewers mention that an actual plot was delayed, unnecessary moments, sloppy CGI work, no real threat (it’s Marvel), kinda boring, etc…

Image result for black panther poster hd

The problem is that I hyped it up too much for myself even though I knew it would end up being a safe Marvel blockbuster. I wanted this movie to be great, I NEEDED it to be great but it was just…it was just cool. I liked the world building, I liked Killmonger as a villain even though his importance kicked in too late, I liked the supporting characters. The tech was cool and remember myself audibly saying “Wow” at certain points. I just didn’t get that awe or emotional exhaustion like when I saw films like La La Land or Arrival. I want to feel something when I leave films.

That being said, the larger potential social impact of Black Panther could be important. Major studios realizing that black people can make them money. Black kids having a hero that looks like them. Showing STRONG black women. Showing successful black people. We’ll see.

This piece is all over the place but whatever. The movie was cool and I’ll probably catch it again when I can watch it at home. Didn’t blow my pants off but yeah.

 

This song is stuck in my head:

The Olympics: A Blurb

Happy Valentine’s Day


I love the Olympics. Summer or Winter, it doesn’t matter.

Why, Justin? 

The competition, the sports you don’t get to see all that often. The top athletes being great on a world stage. You can let yourself feel that blind patriotism that most days you’re ashamed to show. The drama! The stories! The random people you’ve never heard of that are literally the greatest in the world shot into stardom. The weird objectification of bodies that we are totally OK with for like two weeks. The Morgan Freeman Visa commercials. It’s primal. Shaun White is back. Chloe Kim is dumpstering women. The Koreas are playing nice. Speed skating still GOATing. Curling is basically just a fancy lawn game. Twitter moments are lit. I love it, I love it, I love it.

Now sure, IOC is SUPER corrupt and the world is a mess but I WILL NOT LET YALL NEGATIVE, PERMA-DEPRESSED, SENSITIVE 20-SOMETHINGS RUIN THIS FOR ME.

USA

USA

USA

#BestOfUs

Go win all the things.

Bad Bars: Conjure

I swear I’ll write something meaningful but I used up all my juices earlier so you get this.


The bars I spit bring forth demons, don’t be frightened by the things I conjure

Alcoholic with the punches, you’re gonna need a sponsor

You’ll need a lot of energy to see me, you need to drink a monster

Choppin’ limbs off, have his body looking like a romper

Stayed in the sun too long, you used to much bronzer

I’m the king of my city, wonder where else I will conquer

Probably roll up to New Hampshire, I think I’ll take Concord

Gang affiliation, when the grapes come it’s not concord

Road rage the only time you make noise, you a honker

Dancing with the ring, your girl I’ll taunt her

She a dime though, in the public I’ll flaunt her

Where did you get brunette, that girl is blonde sir

 

My brother mentioned this song to me and it is a perennial banger:

 

 

via Daily Prompt: Conjure

Daily Prompt: Simplify

Hmmmm

You’re stupid, so let me simplify

I toss pussies outta windows, wimps’ll fly

I hate sex trafficking, pimps’ll die

Don’t make me curse you, I will jinx a guy

Beat me? Never, better waiting for pigs to fly

Or setting fire to rinks of ice

Weed got you happy but this news will sink the high

 

I’m getting sloppy. Go listen to the Black Panther album that was released today.

 

 

via Daily Prompt: Simplify

Man of the Woods-Justin Timberlake

Album review!


Everyone knows who JT is and it has been awhile since we’ve gotten a new project. Off the album cover I thought we were getting a more soulful, slightly country R&B album but nope. Going to do things differently just cuz. There are sixteen tracks *sarcastic finger twirl* so I’ll review each song like a tweet. This is all off first listen as well. For those a little slow, that is 16 tweets. Maybe I’ll even use a hashtag. Let’s go:

  1. “Filthy”-Interesting start to the album, epic beginning that morphs into this groovy electro bop. It’s cool but I really hate the excessive use of the word “haters”.
  2. “Midnight Summer Jam”-I was really about to just not listen to the rest of this because the “Ultralight Beam” rhythms but the rest of the song is dancey and fun. This is a warning JT.
  3. “Sauce”-“I love your…pink” LOL I think this song is good. The guitar riff and drums are very *BIG SIGH* saucy. I foresee a summer jam from this.
  4. “Man of the Woods”-The title track is a whimsical ditty. It’s cute and the instrumental fits the lyrics….meh
  5. “Higher Higher”-The beginning of this mid tempo tune is hot. The falsetto and that guitar note. Mmm yes. But the last of the song just seems a bit repetitive.
  6. “Wave”-Appropriately named, beachy yet hip relaxed song with its bouncy guitars. I really like this one #Wave
  7. “Supplies”-Man idk. It’s ok. It exists.
  8. “Morning Light”-Adorable little love song. Alicia Keys sounds great here. +1 for claps.
  9. “Say Something”-This is what I assumed the majority of the album would be. Chris Stapleton is always great but the song is whatever and doesn’t really go anywhere.
  10. “Hers(Interlude)”-It’s an interlude.
  11. “Flannel”-Uh, the hefty amount of layering of vocal tracks all over the album came to a head here because this was like a chorus line (of Justins) singing over a beat that one kid made on his laptop. Oh shit. That’s the plot to Pitch Perfect.
  12. “Montana”-standard pop offering. Guitars, electronic drums. It’s unoffensive and I’m not mad at it but *shrugs*
  13. “Breeze Off the Pond”-It’s a more interesting version of the same description of the last song.
  14. “Livin’ Off the Land”-Effortlessly flows from the last song. Thought was falling into problem with some songs on 20/20 of songs not knowing when to end but this is great. Carried by and upright bass and smooth vocal melody. Here for this. A standout for me.
  15. “The Hard Stuff”-OK so the last third of the album is definitely in line with what I was expecting. This track is cool but I’m having trouble describing it.
  16. “Young Man”-This song is about his son and he’s giving him advice. It’s cute. This is a cute way to end the album

Overall, I think this was a solid presentation. My problem with parts of 20/20 was that it seemed like some songs just went on for too long. Man of the Woods is just over an hour but only one of the songs push past five minutes. In music that will reach the mainstream, I believe this to be super important because…ain’t nobody got time for that. I guess I didn’t realize this before but JT uses a TON of layers on vocal parts throughout the project. Also a trend that I’m glad wasn’t carried through was a lot half time bridges with 808’s. There’s a couple here and there but not an egregious amount. I think some of the singles were weird but there are some really cool songs.

Clearly, Justin is enjoying his life as a married, happy father. I really appreciate this because everybody is just so frickin’ sad and depressed all the time. Let’s leave the sad music alone for…a long time. Can’t escape the shitty real world if everybody is releasing politically charged, emotionally draining sad shit. I’M OVER IT. So thank you Justin Timberlake for releasing pleasant music. I don’t usually rank things on a number scale (literally have never done it) but this is like a 7.8/10 for me.

Peep game:

 

FINAL THING: Justin is hosting the performing at the Superbowl this weekend

E-A-G-L-E-S

EAGLES!!!

r/WritingPrompts

So this is a subreddit that I have been actively avoiding for fear of getting trapped. Today I popped in there and it happened, I got trapped. I may do a couple here and there because creative writing is my new hotness. 


PROMPT: Everybody has a number on their heads that shows how many people they screwed over in their life. You’ve been a proud zero your whole life. One day you wake up and look at the mirror. You see 7.5 billion.

“What the fuck?”

How did this happen? I furiously rub my head as if that would do anything. These stupid numbers are ridiculous but my blank forehead had been a point of pride for all of my 26 years. After the initial shock the weight of this new addition hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt woozy and stumbled to the toilet where I violently vomited everything in my body.

I started running through my day yesterday. Woke up, work, go home, TV, bed. Nothing different occurred. My head hurt trying to work through every single detail but I couldn’t think of anything that would have such a widespread effect. Quickly dialing my boss I inform him that I don’t feel well and won’t be in. I can’t been seen with this number. I will never be able to leave my house again. Classic exaggeration.

 


So, I stopped writing this because I couldn’t find out where to take this story. That hasn’t changed so I’m putting it out not even close to finished. I couldn’t think of a clever way to address the problem. What seemingly inconsequential act could this Joe schmo do that would doom the everyone on the planet. I was thinking maybe he was so evil that he made a treacherous decision, at a job to be disclosed later, but that wouldn’t make sense with his number starting off with zero. I thought maybe he was the one vote that caused a sway in an election but I would hate for that to be the reveal of any story right now. What am I? A late night host? So yeah, I gave up. Sorry to my legion of fans (LOL) that was looking forward to this.