My eyes open to the dark room with a sliver of light cutting through the opening of the blackout curtains. I don’t even look at my phone knowing that at any moment my first alarm will go off. An odd metered chime erupts from my phone and I roll my eyes as I swipe away the noise. Well, thank God I live to see another day but curses that I once again woke up before my alarm. Systems check. All my limbs work. I did charge my phone. I don’t have to pee. My naked body is warm under the covers but I can sense the chill morning air my less-than-stellarly insulated studio. My arms are sore from yesterdays work out and I smile to myself in vanity. I have a strange premonition as I quickly think about what I’m going to wear to work before catching another quick 55 minutes of sleep.
“Motherfucker,” I whisper to myself. I roll over to finish off these last seven minutes and hopefully pop back into that dream. I let the darkness come for me in that warm, hug-like nook. A softer, yet more piercing alarm rudely interrupts my chances at chasing a few more snores. I get out of bed unphased by the smell of the man that I am. Lights, teeth, deodorant, hair (lol), and clothes. I desperately need to do laundry. Haven’t worn this sweater in awhile. Where is my other shoe? Where did the time go? Outside, I see the bus rumble by blissfully unaware that it was supposed to wait for me. Whatever. I finally check the temperature. Yup, I wore the wrong shoes and choosing these pants with a hole in them was a choice I made. I readjust my sweater and the annoyance of the day slowly forms at this street corner.
My fucking sweater is too small. I realize today will be one of constant adjustment. Have to make sure my crack isn’t out in the streets like the war on drugs. Doesn’t help I’m wearing the ugliest brown beater known to man…which is also too small. It would be fine if this sweater was only tight but the sleeves are too short and it is just not long enough. Obviously it’s freezing in the office and I’m pretty much wearing a skin suit. Ugh. That’s what that premonition was earlier in bed. Clothes will piss you off today. Should have looked at the weather and pivoted. Black Vans, “Black” pants with crotch hole, TIGHT black sweater. Looking like a out of shape thief. Looking like I’m going to a hipster funeral.
Write all this out on WordPress to rave reviews and tons of fanfare. Thank the fans, God, and my parents. Bow gracefully and wave as applause pours in.
Listen to this song because it is what I immediately think of when I hear the word “premonition.” Stevie Wonder is brilliant.