Shuke? Lay? Sheitz? Reitzowicz?

Despite writing a ton, expressing feelings is not my strong suit. For that reason, I’ll try to keep this short. All this has been said before but I didn’t actually do anything for your wedding so here this is.

You guys are great. Along with my parents, you guys are very real examples that love is real and sometimes you just find the perfect person. I only see a very small portion of time you spend together but what is portrayed is very encouraging to even the most pessimistic love haters (not me…other people). I will just continue to 3rd wheel your life for fun.

Sure, I’ve known Luke a bit longer but at this point you guys have both become really good friends of mine. Luke, you’ve been just a solid dude and a great friend. Driving my ass to gigs, letting me stop fights in our more drunken days and making decisions for groups of people that sometimes generally suck at it. You’re endlessly self-sacrificing and way more mature than most. You also ain’t too bad at the bass. In another world we could’ve taken over the city as the GOAT rhythm section.

Shay, I’ve grown to enjoy your unwavering kindness over the years. At first, it just didn’t make any sense to me. The world sucks and people suck more. Why are you soooo nice?  I genuinely admire that part of you now.  We’ve shared a ton of drinks. You’ve always tried to help me when I was looking for a job or an apartment. I also feel the most comfortable talking to you about dating, women, relationships blah blah blah. Never change (sounds like a dumb yearbook quote).

The world should be endlessly thankful for y’alls mere existence. Despite being gross and kissing just like soo deeply in public (live your life, I don’t care) I couldn’t be happier that you two are together. If either of you hurt one another, I’m fightin’. Now go get those tax breaks!

With Love,

Justin Mark Davis aka Third Wheel Davis aka “I didn’t bring anything, can I have a beer?” aka “I don’t have any cash, can I just Venmo you?” aka “Last person to leave after a party”

PS: Also, you guys are both so fucking pretty…like what the hell. How is that even fair?

 

Foggy

On a fiction kick nah’mean.


Danny drank too much. He wouldn’t describe himself as an alcoholic but it was definitely above average. On this particular morning, he found himself stumbling out of his friends house at 10 am after a particularly turnt evening. He felt a full body exhaustion and his right hand was sore. “It must’ve rained last night…also this is definitely Ben’s shirt,” he thought to himself. The streets were damp and while it was still relatively early, the temperature was already getting uncomfortably warm. A thick fog covered the street while the humidity made his skin feel a little moist. The hangover combined with the fog made the streets he knew so well feel foreign. He looked left, then right and determined the red car on the corner looked more familiar and went that way.

As he slowly walked he determined that he was probably still drunk which is actually terrible when you don’t want to be. A rough day will follow when the hangover hits in earnest midday. His phone buzzes in his pocket. Whoever needed him at that very moment can definitely wait, he determined. Arriving at the corner with the red car he realizes that he went in the wrong direction. As to not look like more of a fool, Danny pulls out his phone and swiftly turns around as if his change in direction and the information on his phone are related. What he sees on the phone does surprise him though. “U owe me pal!” the text reads.

Who is this? Wat are u talking about?” Danny responds. Like the weather, the events of last night are extremely foggy. At this point, he has made it to the correct block and he is racking is non functioning brain for clues as to what this mysterious text means. His phone buzzes again. It’s a picture message. Danny furrows his brow, opens the message and barfs immediately. It’s all over the sidewalk, gross brown and clear liquid. It got on his shoes. A kid down the block quickly turns and walks away with some audible disgust. The picture is the back of man whose body seems familiar stabbing another stranger in the face. The scene was in what looked like to be a yard which also seemed vaguely familiar.  It was a bloody, gory, drunken mess.

“Wtf is this?!? WHO ARE YOU?” He was texting surprisingly well considering his current state. Danny looks back at the picture and realizes the person wielding the knife…How does he not remember this? Is that why he’s wearing a different shirt? Does that explain the pain in his hand?

In his drunken and now terrified state he does not see the metal pole and slams his head into it. Everything comes rushing back as he starts to fall; feelings of rage and then paralyzing fear before collapsing onto the pavement. Danny’s phone buzzes as a call comes in next to his immobilized body.

 

via Daily Prompt: Foggy

Japanese Cherry Blossom

This is a work of fiction


Her dark skin is flawless. The wild yet controlled, purposely messy natural hair, bursting over her laptop, is played with aimlessly. She smells like flowers. That was the first thing I noticed when she strolled past to occupy the seat across from mine. Something falls and I look up. She reaches down to grab her purse but catches me staring on the way back up. I throw her a shy smile because I knew that she knew that I knew that I had been caught. She goes back to typing but I see a smile gently tug at her lips. My eyes return back to the book in my hands.

That night, I ended up at this small coffee shop. My friend is doing a small gig and I wanted so show some love. Flowers? I spin a little too quickly and slam into some dude. He drops his wallet. He’s fine. Over his shoulder I see her giggling. We lock eyes and she has that moment of recognition. “Are you following me?” I ask playfully before grabbing my cranberry juice and apologizing to Todd (he looked like a Todd) once more. She rolls her eyes but doesn’t answer because she has to place her order. This woman is absolutely beautiful and I’m surprised I even got that sentence out. I grab a table to watch the show. A couple seconds later, she settles in beside me.

At home washing dishes when I hear the door open. Some shuffling before the door closes again. The familiar smell of flowers hit me before I see her reflection in the window. She’s still the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen. Her hair is still perfectly everywhere. Arms envelope me from behind as she squeezes me tight, burying her head into my back. As soon as she releases I spin, pull out the box from my pocket and get to my knee. Her eyes widen. “It’s been four years since I caught a whiff or your Japanese cherry…”

“YES, YES, YES!!”

“Babe, I didn’t even get to ask. I had a whole thing prepared…” She doesn’t care, she tackles me into the sink. I drop the ring and it skitters underneath stove to our left. Everything stops. I stare at her blankly.

“I change my mind,” I say deadpan. She bursts out laughing.

 

via Daily Prompt: Fragrance

Disastrous

Darryl is back


Well…shit. (No pun intended)

I only have a brief time before I most likely meet my doom. I slipped out of my owners hand and now plummeting to the toilet. It’s been real yall. By the looks of things, business has been done and this will not be pleasant. Water isn’t the only thing I will be taking on like a sinking rescue boat . My pics aren’t even backed up because the WiFi is out right for whatever reason. I only had like another year to survive and I would have made it.

Who in the world washes their hands before they poop AND THEN grabs their phone??This dude has been responsible but he’s been lapsing recently and I’ve been on the painful end of it. You really get tired of getting thrown against a pleather chair, no matter how safe it is. I don’t like getting squeezed when some girl texts him something stupid. He’s acting like it’s my fault he’s blowing up. How about stop hitting up all these jawns and settle down. My job is just to notify him when stuff comes through but he would get mad if I didn’t do it.

In any case, the breeze feels nice even though I’m plummeting to my death. Strange how detailed everything gets in your last moments. Dude needs to sweep the floor of his bathroom. Who’s hair even is that? The towel rack is definitely gonna fall again. It’s like I need to remember exact details…for what though? The rice thing is malarkey, if I hit that water it is a wrap for me. Looking at my trajectory now with my advanced, pre-death observation increase there is a chance that I could just hit the seat and bounce onto…the hard ground. That’s better than water but this case better be ready to prove it’s worth.

F

A

L

L

I

N

G

Oooof, I crash into the inside of the bowl and land on something firm yet slick. This is so gross. As soon as I splash down, I’m yanked out, wiped of fecal matter and tossed into this now definitely ruined bag of rice. This won’t work…

 

via Daily Prompt: Disastrous

FB Recs 7/17/2017

Today I asked by Facebook friends to reccommend some new music to me and not to my surprise, they are listening to some pretty awesome stuff. Thanks guys! I was not going to review any of it because I’m buttslammed at work but…screw it. I’ll do short ones for as many as I can before I leave work  pass out tonight FINISHED ALL OF THEM.

SZA-Ctrl: Heard this. Really like it. Read about it here. Ya got good taste Chris.

Toro y Moi-Boo Boo: This album is really pleasant. Instrumentals relying heavily on synths and boomy electronic drums give way to an atmospheric yet groovy album with a slightly 80s vibe. The male vocals fit nicely in its appearances. Thumbs up, perfect for work. Thanks Verb.

Chairman Maf: Didn’t get a specific album recommendation so I just checked out the project 1976. It’s really smooth and well put together. The UK producer uses a ton of samples from older music and I enjoyed it. Some of the clips were hilarious and I found myself smiling along with the music. Unfortunately, the project seems to stagnate because you understand Chairman’s style. This is probably just my feelings toward beat tapes or instrumental hip hop in general but I don’t know what I’m expecting so it may be unfair. I’m moving on 9 of 16 songs in but I’m pleased. Thanks Dan.

The Frightnrs-Nothing More To Say: So far this has probably been my favorite of the day. I’m not super familiar with Reggae but this was wonderful. It was like reggae doo-wop. Laid back and appropriately seasonal. Apparently this is called rocksteady, originating in Jamaica (duh) but these dudes are from NY and this was released last year. At first I thought that one of the lead vocals was a woman but I’m wrong. Either way, the singing, lead or background was awesome. Many thanks Bob.

Christian Scott-Diaspora: I was aware my bold statement that I made in the previous blurb had the possibility of being short lived. I just love Christian Scott’s music so much. I was unaware that this project was released and I’m glad I listened to it. Some things of note: Diaspora is less masturbatory, which in itself is unfair, but more ethereal and experimental. Christian Scott has always been ahead of the curve with his material and this album is no different in the fact that it is different. At many points in the project, Scott himself takes a backseat in either the mix or to a healthy dose of flute. I loved it even though the end may have gotten a little sleep…but that could’ve been me. Thanks Matt.

Beach Fossils-Somersault: I didn’t give this album the fair one. Well the first half had my full attention and then I got dumb busy again. It’s very pleasant and the band just seems to do things better than other Indie bands. A very good bass player is the backbone to this summery melancholy experience. “Tangerine” is a standout for me. I can imagine friends frolicking through a field at about 7 pm on a warm August day. I may have to revisit this. Once again, thanks Matt. 2/2.

Theo Katzman, Flaming Warhorse, Kimbra: This friend was trolling. Theo Katzman is great and is part of funk group Vulfpeck. Nothing but positives but we just talked about him together a couple days ago. The song “Break up Together” was discovered at a hilariously bad time. I’m in that one band (SHAMELESS PLUG, GO CHECK IT OUT). I love Kimbra with all my heart. She’s incredibly talented and at this point I’m just waiting for new album………….Kimbra?? Where’s it at?? Hey now, Seann.

The next couple people listed a bunch of people, I’ll talk briefly about them and if I know them I may expand upon them:

Smino: I knew this name sounded familiar. I rocked with his album blckswn heavy earlier in the year. He sounds like music that my brother loves, I like it to but not relentlessly as him. Smino has a cool voice and does even cooler things with it at some points during this project. Listening back to it now after some time, it is still really good. The production and singing just work so well together.

Amir Obè: At this point, there are just so many Frank Ocean clones that I’m just glad that some of them can actually make good music. I’m listening to None of the Clocks Work and honestly it’s great. Unfortunately, it’s like there are tropes that these young R&B singers flock to and I can’t help but think “Frank did that on Channel Orange like 5 years ago.” It is good though. Dude has a nice voice and the production is crisp. The song titles are capitalized so docking points for that. I’m getting a feel for this person’s tastes with these last two recommendations…I see you Grace.

Saba: Chicago rapper, dope flow. His first project, ComfortZone was bumped daily when I was in college. Soulful production that was fresh to me at the time and Saba’s flow/voice put this kid on the map for me. I haven’t listened to his latest project but it is now on the list.

Aminé: String of singles with the highlight being “Caroline”. He’s on the rise and I feel like I’m more impressed with young rappers that aren’t doing mumble rap or trap music. Listening to all these awesome singles though and I’m looking forward to a album to see if he can do a coherent project of solid songs.  Once again, Fb friends showing their butts. Grace, I could make a playlist for you based on these last couple recommendations. “West side nigga”

Statik Selektah: This was boring. He recently released a track with 2 Chainz and Wiz. It was boring. Average hip hop beats and whatever verses but the guests. On to the next.

Pell: He’s cool, rapper/singer. Nothing too special. *Shrugs*

Big Boi-BOOMIVERSE: I love Big Boi. Sir Luscious Left Foot got mad play around the time it was released. I remember using “General Patton” being used as my alarm for such a long time. Looking back at the track list, I have nothing but fond memories of nearly every song being good. BOOMIVERSE is like the most southern album I’ve heard in awhile. Skits, Gucci and Sleepy Brown features and random hilarity make this project pretty enjoyable despite random electronic tracks. Big Boi’s flow is still so inventive and awesome that he makes some questionable bars sound good.

She also mentioned Anderson .Paak but this isn’t the post to gush about how good he is…but he’s great. Seriously. Go listen to all of his music.

There was another set of recs from another girl but I’m done with this thing and kinda wanna listen to 4:44 (again) and Calvin Harris for the rest of the day.

To not be a complete dick though, Rag’n’Bone has a really nice voice and should not be judged on his appearance. Kaleo is band not a person, so that was nice to learn. Blues/rock, lead singer with a fitting voice. Thumbs up. Finally, I haven’t listened to Lumineers outside of “Ho Hey” but I have nothing against them and their most recent single, “Angel” ain’t bad.

Just saw the word count and realized that I wrote this for no reason. Therefore, I will not be editing this. Thanks friends for some really good suggestions, I’ll probably do it again in a couple months.

 

 

Justin, practice

This  gone be quick because GoT comes on in 17 minutes.

I just watched a show of our from two days ago and I had to turn it off. I suck. I suck at the drums and it bums me out. Music is such a big part of my life and I’ve been playing the drums since I was eight. The drastic downturn in skill in the past two years is extremely disheartening and honestly it’s nobody’s fault but my own. The past two years I have lived in apartments that do not have basements. Back at all the previous iterations of Halfro house, we had basements and I had time. I would play nearly everyday and there was a point where I really felt improvement. There was confidence in ability, the feeling that my hands could do anything I thought of. Halfro was still playing a decent amount but Flounder Warehouse was starting to play more shows. I was able showcase my progress and it felt like even those around me could tell that I had improved.

Then we moved to West Philly. We were on the third floor and had a cool attic that I eventually did play (even if quietly) in but it wasn’t the same. The drums are loud. I need to practice at voice strength to get some licks down but I couldn’t because I was worried about the neighbors. They never said anything but still, I wasn’t comfortable. A couple times….

8 minutes to GoT.

Several times I would contact a friend of mine who had a studio with a drum set and I got to practice there. This was amazing but because of scheduling and money, this never became a steady option. Now, I live alone. I definitely cannot play in my apartment. I feel stressed out that I can’t play as often anymore. I hate inconveniencing people so playing at someone else’s house seems like such a bother to them even though they say (and probably mean) it’s not.

My confidence is gone. My fear is back. I can’t perform to the standard that I know I have in the past and it frustrates me to no end. People always come up to congratulate me after shows and I’m always appreciative but on the inside I feel like I let people down. This wasn’t my best because I’m out of practice.

So far, 26 is a great year. I want to be the best drummer I can be because not doing so or at least making an effort will continue to stress me out. Instead of spending money on dates, I should spend it on practice space/time. Instead of beer…drums. My contribution to the world is the emotion that I bring people when they hear me play. If I’m not at my best then what is the point?

Thrones has started so I’m done.

Sit Down, Don’t Bumble

Exploration through definition. Also the title…I…I’m sorry.


The App: I feel like I’ve been talking a lot about dating and honestly…who cares, y’all aint reading this anyway. Bumble is miles better than Tinder and it’s not even close. First, let’s lay out the facts. I don’t look like…uh…idk Micheal B. Jordan. I’m average looking and a bit overweight. My good qualities need to be experienced and not just seen with a couple carefully chosen pictures. There is a societal onus on men to be the one who starts things off by messaging or approaching women initially. Bumble said bump that, you men are gross and stupid, we’ll make it that the girls have to message you first. I think this is so cool. It forces women who usually just sit and wait for all their matches to do something…to do something. Now women know the struggle of coming up with something other than “Hi” or “Hey” to kick off a conversation.

This is the app icon

Sike.

Men are dumb and that stuff they complain about will totally work…BUT NOT ON ME! A big thing for me is that I need for someone to be able to hold a conversation. It bugs me to no end if you can do this. Bumble makes women do that or at least start AND ANOTHER THING…nah, I’m kidding. Anyway, Bumble is cool and I’ve been much more successful on there than Tinder.

The Verb: I trip over things constantly. Randomly run into stuff and accidentally knock stuff over. I have no clue why this happens. My loyal date stamp could honestly sue for battery for the treatment it’s endured. Also, there have been several times when I turn the wrong way when I’m walking somewhere and I have to awkwardly change directions. Taking corners to fast and smashing my hip on something, dancing too hard and punching a wall. I’m out here bumbling through the physical world. I think it’s a synecdoche of my entire life at this moment.

The Other Verb: My tongue is too big (Ayy) and it causes problems. I talk weird. I have a slight lisp and it seems like there’s something in my mouth when I talk. THERE IS, MY BIG ASS TONGUE. For reference, I can pick my nose with it and touch the bottom of my chin. In any case, sprinkle in so awkwardness and I sound garbled…or bumbled.

 

via Daily Prompt: Bumble