Shuke? Lay? Sheitz? Reitzowicz?

Despite writing a ton, expressing feelings is not my strong suit. For that reason, I’ll try to keep this short. All this has been said before but I didn’t actually do anything for your wedding so here this is.

You guys are great. Along with my parents, you guys are very real examples that love is real and sometimes you just find the perfect person. I only see a very small portion of time you spend together but what is portrayed is very encouraging to even the most pessimistic love haters (not me…other people). I will just continue to 3rd wheel your life for fun.

Sure, I’ve known Luke a bit longer but at this point you guys have both become really good friends of mine. Luke, you’ve been just a solid dude and a great friend. Driving my ass to gigs, letting me stop fights in our more drunken days and making decisions for groups of people that sometimes generally suck at it. You’re endlessly self-sacrificing and way more mature than most. You also ain’t too bad at the bass. In another world we could’ve taken over the city as the GOAT rhythm section.

Shay, I’ve grown to enjoy your unwavering kindness over the years. At first, it just didn’t make any sense to me. The world sucks and people suck more. Why are you soooo nice?  I genuinely admire that part of you now.  We’ve shared a ton of drinks. You’ve always tried to help me when I was looking for a job or an apartment. I also feel the most comfortable talking to you about dating, women, relationships blah blah blah. Never change (sounds like a dumb yearbook quote).

The world should be endlessly thankful for y’alls mere existence. Despite being gross and kissing just like soo deeply in public (live your life, I don’t care) I couldn’t be happier that you two are together. If either of you hurt one another, I’m fightin’. Now go get those tax breaks!

With Love,

Justin Mark Davis aka Third Wheel Davis aka “I didn’t bring anything, can I have a beer?” aka “I don’t have any cash, can I just Venmo you?” aka “Last person to leave after a party”

PS: Also, you guys are both so fucking pretty…like what the hell. How is that even fair?



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s