Buckle up nerds, we got a long one
Do you remember when you memorized the alphabet? Or your mom’s phone number? Think of all the stuff you’ve permanently stored in your brain. Now think of all the stuff you would know if you remembered everything you learned. If I reflect back on all the things that I’ve memorized at some point and the time taken to do such a thing, it’s daunting…but also telling of how much time I wasted. I want to talk about several things that I will remember forever and their importance to my life thus far. This might get long so apologies in advanced.
First up, the beatings or spankings we got as kids. If you haven’t gathered, I am black and was raised in church. The Bible says “Spare the rod, spoil the child,” and my parents believed in punishing us when we did something wrong. There are two situations in particular that I will never forget. In our old house we had this deep fryer that sat on the counter. It was full of oil one day and one of us knocked it over onto the kitchen floor. Instead of us telling our parents, my brothers and I SKATED IN THE OIL WITH OUR SHOES ON. When our parents found out…they. wore. us. out. We deserved it, that’s ridiculous.
The second was when we were a bit older at our current house. We had borrowed a CD from someone and when our parents got home, it was broken. The only reason this was a big deal is because we were given explicit instructions to be careful. So parents get home, CD is broken. “Alright, who did it?” We all vehemently deny it. At this point the issue was less the broken CD but the fact that SOMEBODY was lying so boldly. So obviously, we all had to get it. Fair enough. What happened will go down as one of my proudest moments as a child. So like, I knew I didn’t do it. I was NOT about to get a beatin’ for either of my brothers. I was pissed and said something like, “Well, I didn’t do it and I’m not getting beat for it.” Then walked away. Anybody with parents that value respect knows that I could’ve died right there. Later I found out that my dad, executioner at the time, was so surprised by my conviction and boldness that he concluded that I didn’t do it and let me leave. I hated getting beatings but my parents were very fair and we probably deserved everyone we got. I’ve memorized so many of those moments and learned that if I don’t act crazy, then I’ll be fine.
So the next huge amount of information that I have memorized is everything concerned with League of Legends. This game pretty much took over my life at the age of 18. I played so much and I still suck but I’ve memorized soooooooo much about the game. Names of champions, builds, strategies, mechanics, game history, the pro scene from its inception. Nearly eight years of consuming information. THAT’S NEARLY A THIRD OF MY LIFE. It actually makes no sense that I’m this bad at the game but whatever. Will all of this information help at any other point of my life? Probably not but it happened. I can only imagine what my life would be like if I had replaced that brain space and time with anything else.
Something that many of people never forget is their first time having sex. Mine was interesting. First of, there was a time in college that I was H A M M E R E D and almost/maybe did have sex with a friend of mines sister. I don’t think I could get it up but I don’t know, I’m not counting it. The first actual time was at a friend of mine’s wedding. Not at the ceremony but the hotel after the reception. It was Memorial Day weekend and I was in peak physical condition. I remember seeing this black girl sit in front of us at the wedding thinking 1. She’s definitely sitting on the wrong side because the bride’s people are on the other side and 2. She is stunning. Anyway, wedding is done and we travel to the other side of the world to the reception. She’s sitting nearby but ya know whatever I suck with girls. The newlyweds have a cute book for people to sign and decorate. Her and I get up to this thing at the same time and I make a quick joke about letting her go first. Get a smile and continue on. Food is being served buffet style, smiles exchanged again. Dancing starts (YO IF YOU DON’T DANCE AT A WEDDING I DON’T WANNA BE YOUR FRIEND) and she comes up and we start dancing together. She then whispers, “Are you coming to the hotel party afterward? I wanna fuck you.” I’m in shock but manage to say yes. “I’ll be in Room whatever(I don’t remember)” Fun time are had, things are winding down, people are heading over to the hotel and I ask my boy for a condom, he comes through. We are having fun at the party but I don’t see her. Fine, that was weird anyway. Out of nowhere she comes in, grabs me and leads me to her room. I remember that I’m wearing a brown wife beater (smh) because I was worried about losing any piece of clothing in this hotel as clothes start flying. We have sex, it was fine. She stops at some point and runs to the bathroom. She kicks me out because she wasn’t feeling well but makes me promise to text her the next day (LOL). I promise and leave. I remember that day/night so clearly. There are a ton of other sex things that I remember like specific locations, fear getting caught, anal for the first time but this is getting suuper long.
Hang in there. I only got one more thing left.
As all my adoring fans of this blog may know, I love music. I’m a musician and I spend a great deal of time listening, finding and thinking about music. I cannot even begin to fathom how many songs that I have memorized at one point or another. Whether it is warm-ups for Wind Ensemble, Portrait of Clown in Concert Band, the hits that were added years later in the third chorus of Things Fall Apart or all the odd metered breaks in Flounder Warehouse. Add on playing songs in church for years. Knowing how your pastor liked you to play a certain song, shout bumps, Fred Hammond songs that your praise team ambitiously wanted to perform. There’s more! Just listening to music played over and over again on the radio or finding songs that I like then sleeping to them for months on end. I’ve memorized beat changes on ten minute prog rock songs, piano solos on jazz odysseys, intros of pop songs and random ad-libs from A$AP Ferg songs.
It’s a lot.
On the flipside, I cannot remember song lyrics. For the life of me, I can’t do it. Gun to my head, if the alphabet don’t count, I’m dead. I would probably mess up the national anthem. It’s sad, even songs that I love to death I would stumble. It’s sad.
Well holy moly. I wrote so much. Most of these are just memories but I’ve memorized details about them and the lessons and feelings gained from these experiences.
Tell me, what was the last thing you memorized? (I’m kidding, nobody talks to me)