Darryl is back
Well…shit. (No pun intended)
I only have a brief time before I most likely meet my doom. I slipped out of my owners hand and now plummeting to the toilet. It’s been real yall. By the looks of things, business has been done and this will not be pleasant. Water isn’t the only thing I will be taking on like a sinking rescue boat . My pics aren’t even backed up because the WiFi is out right for whatever reason. I only had like another year to survive and I would have made it.
Who in the world washes their hands before they poop AND THEN grabs their phone??This dude has been responsible but he’s been lapsing recently and I’ve been on the painful end of it. You really get tired of getting thrown against a pleather chair, no matter how safe it is. I don’t like getting squeezed when some girl texts him something stupid. He’s acting like it’s my fault he’s blowing up. How about stop hitting up all these jawns and settle down. My job is just to notify him when stuff comes through but he would get mad if I didn’t do it.
In any case, the breeze feels nice even though I’m plummeting to my death. Strange how detailed everything gets in your last moments. Dude needs to sweep the floor of his bathroom. Who’s hair even is that? The towel rack is definitely gonna fall again. It’s like I need to remember exact details…for what though? The rice thing is malarkey, if I hit that water it is a wrap for me. Looking at my trajectory now with my advanced, pre-death observation increase there is a chance that I could just hit the seat and bounce onto…the hard ground. That’s better than water but this case better be ready to prove it’s worth.
Oooof, I crash into the inside of the bowl and land on something firm yet slick. This is so gross. As soon as I splash down, I’m yanked out, wiped of fecal matter and tossed into this now definitely ruined bag of rice. This won’t work…