At this very moment, my life is weird.
As I sit here in my bed like a butterfly, I had a moment of what the effery. I thought to myself, “Is this my life now?”
I got a new job. I work at an elementary school and if I’m being honest, it is not something I saw myself doing but whatever. I like it and it’s actually pretty challenging. Also, I’m getting super paid…like really paid. Like, I could mess around and do something dumb paid. The thing is that I’ve been broke so long that I’ve gotten good at not spending money. Hopefully I can maintain that as the money comes in. I really should try not to get fat from the food I’ll try to avoid eating. A new thing is that I have to wake up early and get dressed up every morning. It’s kind of cool looking good every morning; it does make you feel better if you look good. The new dress shoes I got are nothing but pain though. It feels like there were knives installed in the backs. My heels looked like that scene in Hostel where they cut the Achilles tendon of that dude in the chair (I’m not gonna even look that up to see if that was the right reference) but then quit halfway through due to a weak stomach or dull tools. Either way, my feet got wrecked. Now I have a white girlfriend so the solution came quick and easy: just put band-aids on the scene of the crime. Holy problem solved. Not gonna lie though, it looks pretty gay (I’ve probably offended someone) but who cares I can walk without crying and bleeding.
So actually, that’s the only thing that has changed. I have money now. I’ve already determined the things I need/want and to my satisfaction, it’s only like ten things. I mean I’m sure I’ll think of things but for now: computer, new hi hats, clothes, new desk chair…uh…other stuff. I just hope I don’t become wasteful. I mean sure, I bought ice cream an hour ago, took a couple bites and let it melt on the side table (I’ll eat it tomorrow, doesn’t count).
Anyway, I’m tired and I just tried to adjust my bedsheets while I was on the bed. Oh, that’s right, I need a desk. Mine was seized by a rival clan in a housing dispute. That’s a lie…but I am going to stop typing this and buy a desk.